She's JV to your varsity
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
