I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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