just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
