There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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