Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I need to stop coming to work sober
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
