I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He shit in the fireplace
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
