OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize