But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
