i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
