this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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