My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
