he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
