would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
