another moral hangover. fuck.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
