Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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