I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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