did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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