Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
