1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize