If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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