You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize