question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize