i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You may now shotgun with the bride
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
