dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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