we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
