im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
