Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?