Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Duck Duck Cougar?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize