there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.