I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.