You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I intend to get homeless drunk
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!