good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
