I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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