drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
