Don't make out with my wife yet
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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