I heard we made out
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
