I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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