Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
