Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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