Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(650): View more from California

i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.

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25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Read it at the TFLN blog
(703): View more from Virginia

there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...

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(615): View more from Tennessee

It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30

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(281): View more from Texas

Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"

(816): View more from Missouri

I lied.

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