Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again