Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."

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(508): She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth." http://tfl.nu/jx23

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.

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(918): The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting. http://tfl.nu/0qq1

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(845): View more from New York

People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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(845): People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk http://tfl.nu/qmhf

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(310): View more from California

the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights

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(310): the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights http://tfl.nu/wmcj

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.

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(973): Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever. http://tfl.nu/k2hn

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(763): View more from Minnesota

Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet

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(763): Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet http://tfl.nu/ppas

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(518): View more from New York

We left an ass print on the piano.

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(518): We left an ass print on the piano. http://tfl.nu/qaoo

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(914): View more from New York

Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY

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(914): Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY http://tfl.nu/p14o

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(315): View more from New York

I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes

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(315): I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes http://tfl.nu/99as

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(214): View more from Texas

I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw

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(214): I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw http://tfl.nu/sktq

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(863): View more from Florida

our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane

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(863): our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane http://tfl.nu/5abz

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(281): View more from Texas

I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.

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(281): I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth. http://tfl.nu/cgjr

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(708): View more from Illinois

Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this

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(708): Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this http://tfl.nu/2xjb

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(415): View more from California

I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.

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(415): I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided. http://tfl.nu/izkw

Replies (4) Good night (969) Bad night (183)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white

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(610): I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white http://tfl.nu/fhnw

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