I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You pole danced in your parka.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.