If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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