Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(337): View more from Louisiana

I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.

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(337): I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way. http://tfl.nu/vl3g

Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (1648)
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(253): View more from Washington

is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?

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(253): is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing? http://tfl.nu/rrvx

Replies (5) Good night (599) Bad night (2652)
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(469): View more from Texas

I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.

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(469): I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep. http://tfl.nu/j5ig

Replies (9) Good night (5226) Bad night (661)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.

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(603): I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot. http://tfl.nu/xny3

Replies (35) Good night (5516) Bad night (1532)
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(516): View more from New York

Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"

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(516): Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn" http://tfl.nu/e8ge

Replies (19) Good night (5675) Bad night (1255)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Is it penis luge time yet?

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(603): Is it penis luge time yet? http://tfl.nu/x21x

Replies (8) Good night (1597) Bad night (766)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset

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(412): I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset http://tfl.nu/cmm6

Replies (8) Good night (807) Bad night (2178)
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(442): View more from California

While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.

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(442): While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage. http://tfl.nu/yi73

Replies (74) Good night (1397) Bad night (5376)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

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(306): We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together http://tfl.nu/varl

Replies (4) Good night (1440) Bad night (776)
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(917): View more from New York City

I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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(917): I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration. http://tfl.nu/hksr

Replies (5) Good night (839) Bad night (1690)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied

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(901): She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied http://tfl.nu/t1al

Replies (7) Good night (1207) Bad night (569)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.

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(734): Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go. http://tfl.nu/sxv0

Replies (7) Good night (1037) Bad night (448)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.

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(828): If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong. http://tfl.nu/ed76

Replies (9) Good night (1145) Bad night (321)
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(917): View more from New York City

Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.

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(917): Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly. http://tfl.nu/0uc8

Replies (2) Good night (305) Bad night (980)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.

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(309): I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong. http://tfl.nu/hvs3

Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (249)

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