i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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