so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
foreskin is a definite game changer
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
