Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
