nut hugger
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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