I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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