? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
