i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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