Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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