my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
