i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
