Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
