Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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