At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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