Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
