went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
