I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize