If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
