Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
