Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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