there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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