have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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