Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize