you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize