You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
