Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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