You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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